green man


Dear friends,

You laughed when you saw me standing on the sidewalk in front of Renys eating organic black beans straight from the can. You asked me to come to your house and remove the package of half-eaten vegan cheese from your fridge that I brought to your barbeque or else you threatened to use it to shingle your roof. You knew that when I declared myself a vegan after reading books by Alicia Silverstone, Kris Carr, Peter Singer, Lori Gruen, Jonathan Foer, and Moby, it wouldn’t last. And it didn’t; inspiring writers all, the failure was completely mine. My most recent promise to reboot my karma and remain a vegetarian for one whole year lapsed after about a month. Let’s all agree: my commitments to diets or lifestyle changes or whatever you want to call them has been about as firm as my commitments to quit Facebook and Twitter. Yes, I’m a chronic lapser. Well, here I go again. I watched a documentary on Netflix last night called Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. It chronicled the journey of an Australian man named Joe Cross, who used a 60-day juice fast to cure his chronic idiopathic urticaria, a painful autoimmune disease. And guess what? It worked. That film, and the time I spent in Woodstock this past weekend, where you can stand in one juice bar, throw a wheatgrass muffin, and practically hit another juice bar, has inspired me to make some changes. I’m thinking of a line from a Mark Eitzel song that goes, “I’m sick of food/so why am I so hungry?” That’s where I am right now; sick of food but hungry for a dietary rebirth. So starting tomorrow, I’m drinking nothing but juice for 30 days. I’ve got my NutriBullet and my Jack Lalanne. My only cheat day will be next weekend when my wife and I go out for one our regular sauna and sushi dates, when we go here and then here. Like Thoreau immersing himself in a bog, I’m going to immerse myself in green juice.  Now, for that one last cup of coffee…

Henry (Michael)


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