get up

chair

Some say the internal combustion engine is the most damaging object ever created. I would almost agree. I think the most destructive human invention is the standard office chair. That’s the bastard above. I imagine that when we were all cavemen or homesteaders, we didn’t have time to sit down and stare at screens. We were too busy trying to find food, keep our families alive, and defending ourselves from wild animals. We also died around age 35. So, I guess modern life does have its perks; coffee bars, iPhones, grocery stores, and polyester underwear. But the trade-off is that most of us spend our time sitting. And sitting is killing us. Just this morning I went to the gym to kick-start my exercise regimen once again. It felt great while I was doing it, but I wonder if it will be enough to counteract the effects on my body of sitting in my office chair at work for seven-plus hours today. Probably not. I’m sure I’d be much healthier if I were to spend my day running down wildebeests or chipping rocks together, trying to loose a few sparks for my cooking fire. And it’s probably a really bad sign that there are even apps that remind you when you’re sitting too long and chirp at you to get up and stretch. Or the high-tech wristbands that monitor your daily activity and convert it into tiny little charts and graphs that you can share with your friends on Facebook. Bullshit, I say. Our ancestors didn’t need FitBits. They had the saber-toothed tigers for that. So maybe today, pretend you are being chased by some hungry, rabid, giant boar, get up out of that cushy chair, and move your ass.

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